This morning I woke up and stared up at my ceiling wondering what I was supposed to do next.

Usually I would just roll over, hastily pick up my phone and absorb myself into the world of social media for 1.5 hours, responding to messages, laughing at the latest TikToks, and creeping on other's statuses on Facebook, before deciding that I needed to let my two precious boys outside to go potty or I'd be considered a neglectful parent.

Today was different.

Last night I had made the decision to delete all my social media apps from my phone in an effort to get my creative life back-- you know, gain some control and unlike yesterday when the sense of accomplishment washed over me, I was left with a hangover of the deepest confusion this morning... What do I do next?

After a brief come-to moment of what I had done last night, I had a moment where I actually considered putting them back on my phone.

"But what if someone needs to reach me?"

"How will I keep in contact with someone if I'm meeting them at the bar?"

"What about my Instagram Stories????"

All situations that I quickly and soberly told myself, "we will cross that bridge when we get there and nobody needs access to you 24/7, so that's a non-issue anyway."

Back to the ceiling my eyes go...

What did I do before I had unlimited access to the internet? Maybe that will give me a start?

I had a roommate in college and an 8am class that I woke up 20 minutes before, so I didn't have time for much anything, but to throw on some jeans, a button down top (I was in my stem era at the time), and grab a granola bar to head to aforementioned class.

I've never had an adult life without social media being at my fingertips. I don't know what life looks like without it.

I open my iPad, which I had also redownloaded my social apps to the night before because alas, I am still chronically online and can't imagine eliminating social media in its entirety.

click

I post a series of Kim Kardashian Amish memes, letting my followers know that if I seem a bit distant, it's because I deleted all my apps from my phone, but fret not!! I still do plan to be online, but not in the same way.

Now what?

I don't know.

It's almost five pm and I've managed to run errands, edit a YouTube video, get in two workouts, write this blog post, and now I'm about to sit and crochet more of my scarf.

I've reached for my phone a couple times like a phantom limb.

But all in all, I did it. I'm doing it. And I've never felt more lost/intriguied/bored/excited in my life.